I really feel you... I know it probably won't mean much but just know that I think every true artist has been there.

I'm a 40-year-old singer and musician and up until very recently, I thought my career (if you can call it that...) was over. 5 years ago, I learned new skills to make a career change because I had enough of waiting for some kind of breakthrough that never happened, and killing myself at work while counting every penny (because it's hard to make good money in music when you're unknown). I was tired of working with people I didn't want to work with, for an "entertainment industry" I couldn't make sense of. I felt my life had no point, no purpose.

All that wasn't about my love for music, I still loved my art... But I was tired to depend on it for making a living. After playing music all my life, I wanted to finally stop hoping, earn money more easily, and enjoy playing music when I want, for who I want, and the way I want.

So I let go.

I stopped working as a professional musician, learned computer programming, and started to work in tech. I became super passionate about programming and technology. It was something absolutely unexpected! even my friends and family had a hard time understanding the change.

A few years later, something totally unexpected happened... I found ways to merge my passion for tech and my passion for music together. Now, people respect my art and I'm even paid quite good money to perform my own music in front of people who are actually interested! I'm invited to give Keynote talks from time to time and talk about my artistic process and my work. these are dreams I stopped hoping for 5 years ago.

Moral of the story: letting go is sometimes part of the process. If I didn't let go, I would've never found my passion for programming and tech. And that passion is what made it possible for me to succeed with my music, in the end. It seems counterintuitive but that's just the way it is sometimes...

Maybe you need to let go because something else is waiting for you out there that will completely change the trajectory of your writing down the road. Or maybe not. Point is, you'll never know if you don't allow it to happen.

I love your writing. But I won't tell you that I hope you keep writing. True artists don't create because they want to, they create because it's stronger than them. Whether you do it as a career or not isn't so important, in the end.

For this new year, I wish you the courage to go beyond your old dreams, find new ones, and to walk your path with trust and joy (along with all the other good things of life of course).

I never write such long replies but your words and experience resonated with me very deeply and I felt inspired to share.

Last thing, maybe don't delete this post? Maybe it can help others who feel the same way...